Rules for Courtship and Dating Part 4

Rule 1 is keep yourself pure
Rule 2 is keep a strong devotional life
Rule 3 is submission to authority in dating/courtship
Rule 4 is be spiritually matched

Rule 5 is simple behave yourselves when your dating or courting.
You are probably asking.
“How do I behave myself during this process? “
Simple follow the statutes in the Bible.
“Now you are probably asking how do I do that?”
A. Be Holy
Now your probably scratching your head and saying, “Ok, you said be holy. Well how do I do that?”
Romans 14:8 and 1 Corinthians 10:31 tells us the guidelines we need to follow.
Your probably also wondering why because to separate the spiritual and secular in our lives is being double minded. We are told NOT to be double minded. ALL parts or our lives belongs to God. James 1:8; 4:8
1.Abstain from physical contact
First and for most you must remember that when you do start dating or courtship that our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ MUST come first.
So how is abstaining from physical contact doing this?  By doing this you avoid arousing yourself into emotions that could lead you down the wrong path. The path to fornication. In other words you keep your eyes on the King (and I don't mean Elvis) and your hands off each other.
Parents this is why when your young people are out together the following rules must be in place.
No kissing
No arms around each other
No hand holding
No sitting too close
Why?
So they will save themselves for marriage for those actions may lead to the wrong path instead of the right path that God wants them to go.
Song of Solomon 1:7
True love starts in the soul not the body.
Physical contact can confuse it by mistaking lust for love. Which is quite common these days. Even on “clean” TV shows they mistaken lust for love. Don't allow yourself to be mistaken. Don't allow lust in your hearts. Allow your soul to show you who your true love is not your body.
Remember these words which are repeated three times in the Song of Solomon.
Song of Solomon 8:4; 2:7; 3:5
So do not do anything that ANYTHING that can arouse sexual desires of any kind.
God puts it more in our face through Paul in Hebrews 13:4
Now do you want to risk being on His bad side? Personally I would rather be praised by being undefiled than judged by being defiled.
2.Do not talk intimately with one another before marriage
Remember I said don't do ANYTHING to arouse sexual desires. I have also told you in the past how powerful words are. So put intimate words into a emotional mix you would already be feeling about the person you are dating and what happens. That wrong path shows up again. So what do you do. AVOID intimate talking.
Colossians 4:6
Ephesians 5:12
3.Be a witness with your courtship
Like everything else in our lives we are to be witnesses. Our every breath is to be a witness. The way we court or date is just another thing we need to be showing the world Jesus through.
Here is an example:
Your school has a dance.
You are asked to go to the dance by someone.
What do you do?
You say NO.
A dance is no place for a Christian to be.
No going to be a witness is not an option.
Going is ruining of the witness.
You must remember the rest of the world holds us to a much higher standard than you think they do.
If you did go and then said you are a Christian they would reply then why are you here.
Like a bar a dance is no place for a Christian to be no matter that our country history has to say about it. Many of our churches over the years have become as watered down as our lives in a country that was originally based on Christian principles.
You are probably thinking at this point, “Wow that is asking a lot.” Yes, but it is worth it for this not only ensure God is first in your relationship, but also ensures that your relationship will remain on track and you two will not ruin your witness.
John 15:26
B. Be Balanced
Our Christian walk as a whole is all about balance. Check Ephesians Chapter 6:1-4. See it is about balance. You are to obey and honor your parents. Your parents are also not to provoke you to wrath. No that doesn't mean they cannot tell you to do your homework or clean your room. However they are not allowed to beat you and abuse you as does happen to some children. You are to obey them when they ask or tell you to do something that does not go against the word of God.
The same balance applies to your other relationships, such as your friends, boyfriend, and girlfriend.
Don't spend too much time with the person you are dating or courting. If you are with the person God picked for you God willing you will be spending the majority of your life with that person. Your days with your parents, however, are numbered. Balance your time between the person you are dating or courting and your parents. While your at it learn from them. Glean the wisdom they have learned either from doing as my parents did and be together till death do you part or a broken marriage. (In the latter learn what not to do lol)
Now if you have a sibling who is annoying and you have successfully learned to put up with that sibling you should be able to put up with the idiosyncrasies of your spouse in marriage.
Also spending too much time with the one you are dating or courting may breed contempt or inappropriate familiarity.
For example: don't text so much, don't email so much, don't blog so much, don't facebook/myspace/twitter so much. We do so much of these activities we lose site of the real world and of each other. We get so into what our tech can do that we forget face to face contact is important as well. Talking to each other is more fulfilling than any of these other activities. Toss in the fact that no one needs to know every move you make and every breath you take. Yes I have even know of a guy that twittered his whole wedding and I mean the whole wedding. Poor woman!!!!
Remember the very thing you think is bringing you closer can also tear you apart.
The largest part of keeping the balance is our relationship with God. Are you consciously keeping your relationship with God and your walk with Him strong. Do not allow ANYONE and yes that includes the person you are dating or courting to invade your personal time with Him. You both better get used to it now. For when you are married you will still need that personal time with God and toss into that time together WITH Him. So you better get used to working together on giving each other personal time with God now. Allowing each other to invade on that personal time with God is nothing short of idolatry.
What is idolatry again? Putting ANYTHING before God.
1 John 5:21
Colossians 1:18
What does all this mean?
Simple if the relationship takes away from praying, Bible, and church we are heading down the wrong direction. Enjoy your dating/courtship, but keep it balanced.
C.Be in company of Christians
Courtship used to be the young man came a calling and at all times the couple remained in earshot and eyeshot of the parents. A.K.A. They were withing ear and eye shot of accountability.
The protocol was also to NEVER be alone together until they were engaged and then they had a particular time to leave point A and arrive at point B.
Parents were there at all times too. Once the parents went to bed the courtship activities were over.
That is how it should be now.
You are never alone together until engaged and then you are accountable to when you leave point A and arrive at point B and your accountable for what happened in that time alone. It better only be talking and in a non intimate manner.
You are probably asking: What don't you trust me? On a date? NO!!!! Quite honestly no human can be trusted in such a thing.
Philippians 3:3
No confidence in the flesh. Good reason to not trust you on a date alone.
Remember I would also have to follow these rules and I am 31 and do have a strong walk with the Lord. But I also could not be trusted alone on a date.
Remember we all are made of flesh and blood so we need to keep Spirit lead guidelines and we need to be accountable for our actions at all times. So no dating or courting without a chaperon no matter your age.
This means I am blessed that my sister and I are like Siamese twins (thankfully not literally given she is much older than me) I have a built in Christian chaperon.
So keep those standards high. Keep yourself sanctified and holy. Keep your Christians witness. Most importantly keep your walk with Christ strong.
Next week we will go over the last three points of dating and courtship.
We also will chop away at this disposable society we now live in as well as disposable marriage and children. God created the family unit and society has made a mockery of it with what we call a “feel good society.” It is our turn now to show the world what family really is about and what God wants it to be.