Rules for Courtship and Dating Part 1

In the introduction a good question came up and a bad answer was given.

 

How are we doing in the dating circles?

 

Badly for we look worse than the world. We also are the worst in adultery. Divorce and Remarriage, Mental, and Standard form of being married and going with another person are running ramped in churches worse than fornication both mental and sex out of marriage.

 

Now I am not going to pretend I know all the answers, but I will teach you what the Holy Spirit has told me to teach you for He has all the answers. I am now 31 and still have no husband. I have not dated or gone through courtship for God has not seen fit to give me the one I am to marry yet. He is the Matchmaker. He is the one you are to turn to for everything including the man or woman you are to date, court, or marry.

 

Now onto the first rule or courtship and dating. This is a many part lesson so let's get started with lesson number one of many.

 

Set a course for purity.

 

1 Timothy 5:22 issues one of the many warnings in the Bible on this very topic. So how do we keep ourselves pure. Let's see let's start with the kiss the current rule is first date. There used to be a time in our own history where you had to be married first for that first kiss. Now days the rule is petting quickly after and soon after making out. All that leads to is sin the sin of fornication. So as Christians how do you keep yourself pure. You let the Holy Spirit guide your every move and action that is how. How do you do that well the Israelites were given a means to do this for use all of this is our heart, mind, and soul. Deuteronomy 6:6-9 For us it can also be the fridge, the coffee table, etc.... Keep yourself surrounded by the word of God and right it on your heart. Strengthen your relationship with Jesus Christ daily. The biggest key to keeping yourself pure during this time of major peer pressure to sin. 1 Thessalonians 5:22 Yes abstain that includes TV, Movies, People, etc.... ALL appearance of EVIL not some ALL!!!!!

 

Also make yourself a Hands off/on Policy. First we will discuss the Hands Off Half and then the hands on Half.

 

A. Hands Off

 

1 Corinthians 7:1 Keep your hands off of each other period is what this means. Yes it goes both ways ladies and gentleman. No it does not mean you cannot shake hands but you do not do an embrace that leads to intimacy period. Now move onto 1 Corinthians 7:2 to find out WHEN we are permitted to be physically involved. Many of you are too young for that one now aren't you. So you are not ready for the physical involvement that can easily lead to fornication. Later in 1 Corinthians 7:9 it tells us we better get married if we just got to have sex otherwise well we covered that already. (Galatians 5 and Romans 1 have that answer) So a strictly hands off policy is necessary for ALL unmarried Christians. So until your old enough to get married keep your mind in your books and most importantly your heart in The Bible. Which, leads us to the Hands on Policy.

 

B. Hands On

 

Psalms 119:9 Hands on the Word of God. Read it, Memorize it, Personalize it, Write it on your spiritual heart. Why do we do this? The Bible is our Sword. (Ephesians 6:10-17) It is a part of the armour of God. It is where we learn how to put on the whole armor of God daily. How we are to go into our prayer closet daily to put on our armor and then walk into the world and not be of it. Not allow ANY form of sin in. This includes on dates and keeping yourself sanctified. Keeping our eyes and hands on the Word of God is our protection against worldlings and worldly things. Your day has it worse than I did which means your grip needs to be even tighter on the sword than mine was at your age.

 

(Worldings are those living for Satan whether they know it or now)

 

Eyes Fixed

 

Matthew 5:28 This adultery is not only when your married you can be single and do this as well. Ladies and Gentleman we are all the BRIDE of Christ. We therefore lust after anyone male or female we just committed adultery against Jesus Christ Himself. Wow, that huge of a deal? That is the worst thing we can do now isn't it. Anything against our Savior, our Lord, our King, our Brother, or Everything is a huge deal. So huge no human words can describe it. So where are your eyes to be? ON only one thing, Jesus Christ Himself!!!! That is how we become an upright Christian who does not sin. A upright Christian who does not fall into addictions and temptations is to be Addicted to Jesus as Carman puts it.

 

We are to have the attitude that David had in Psalms 101:3. 

 

Now ladies here is one targeted directly at you and do you realize these days the females of the world are bringing on trouble just like Eve did in Genesis. 1 Timothy 2:9 So what does this mean? We are to dress modestly not in this skin tight, hip hugging, belly and breast showing junk that you buy in the stores now. It also means no short skirts too. It also means no makeup or jewelry. We are not to adorn ourselves and we are not to dress in flashy and immodest manners. 

 

So lets break all this down into three things.

 

Boys DON'T LOOK AT GIRLS IN LUST.

 

Girls DRESS MODESTLY AND WITH NO ADORNMENT

 

Both KEEP YOUR EYES ON JESUS CHRIST Hebrews 12:2

 

Where better than to keep our focus on the one who gave his very life for us and would have done it even for just one soul.

 

Have a strong personal devotional life

 

How do I do that I have midterms, I have finals, I have this activity or that. Hold it why are you letting Satan give you excuses? Why are you allowing Satan in at all? Boot him out that door face first into a mud puddle or dung heap in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ.

 

Now that that is taken care of let's get into how to keep a strong personal devotional life.

 

Wake up in the morning early enough to spend at least an hour with the King and two hours on the weekends even before church. 

 

Then in the order the Holy Spirit Guides you pray, meditate, and do Bible Study.

 

Finally, put on your whole armor. Now your ready to face the world.

 

Write this verse on your heart and do what it says. Mark 12:30

 

Remember God always comes first. Mother, Father, Sister, Brother, Boyfriend, Girlfriend, Friends, Best Friends, Relatives, etc... all come second. Oh, and yes when married the spouse also comes second. I told Mark and Jo the other day when I marry my man better put me second or I will kick his butt and I will be doing the same with him. Mark and Jo do the same with each other and are going onto 32 years of marriage come December. Putting God first is all that matters everything and everyone else is second.

 

This command does have a promise: Matthew 6:33

 

This promise is the reason why Mark and Jo are still together and why my parents did truly fulfill the promise till death do us part. They both put God first. Your relationships will be better with each other if both put God first. If only one then well there will be struggle, but it is even worse if both put God last. So ladies and gentlemen put God first PERIOD. Do not allow yourself to be unequally yoked with a non-Christian or a Christian that does not put God first.

 

Keep your eyes on Jesus Christ and your hands and eyes off of each other. 

 

Keep yourself pure.

 

Do your Devotionals DAILY!!!!

 

Next week onto part 2 if you desire also follow this link for more information:

 

http://www.christchurchbaptist.org/Pastors%20Word/The%20Rules%20for%20Dating%20Courting%20Part%20Two.htm